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. and was ready to face the world. That quickly changed when she found out...1) her two suitors beat the hell out of one another, blaming the other for her troubles.2) ... and was ready to face the world. That quickly changed when she found out...1) her two suitors beat the hell out of one another, blaming the other for her troubles.2) her obsessed nephew was asleep in closet, having watched her all night3) her flaky friend had tried to kill herself after their phone call.4) her older sister had pawned her broach; the police finding it with video of the sale.She tearfully ran into the arms of her elderly father, who told her:1) “I’m sorry miss, but I don’t know you. Were you a friend of my wife?”2) “Your sister needed the money so I told her to sell it. Not once did I ever see you wear the damn thing.”3) That Vogue had been trying to contact her all day for permission to use a photo of her workplace breakdown for an article about workplace breakdowns.4) That God does not us more than. Virginity is like a bubble.One prick and it’s gone.If you don’t believe in oral sex... ... keep your mouth shut.Fixing the dentsOne day a Stepford Wife entered an auto body shop claiming that she’d suffered extensive damage to her new car.The mechanic thought he’d have some fun with her so he told her that she didn’t need him to fixed all the dents.He said she could fix them herself by blowing into the tailpipe as hard as she could and they’d all pop out.The Stepford Wives went home and proceeded to get down on her hands and knees in the driveway. She was blowing into the pipe as hard as she could and her face was turning purple when The Stepford Wife from across the street walked over and asked what she was doing?After hearing the whole story the second Stepford Wife pauses for a moment then responds, “Hello! The windows are down!”The Church GossipMildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church’s morals, kept sticking her nose into other people’s.
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